Tuesday, June 11, 2013

On big-girl friendship


When I was growing up, I bet I spent just as many nights sleeping over at friends' houses as I did in my own bed.  My closest friend and I would go back and forth between each other's houses, staying until that set of parents wanted a break...then we'd move onto the next place.

Back then friendship was as easy as laughing at infomercials at 3 in the morning and not even knowing why.

But then I grew up.

I met all sorts of people in college and really enjoyed them...but I never had money to go out.  So I missed out on a lot of the social scene.

Then we got married and moved, and I started working at an elementary school...but the women there were older, farther along, not too interested in socializing.

We joined a church full of wonderful, godly, inspiring women.  And I love them all to pieces...but they're busy.

And grown-up friendship just isn't the same.  I'm still not quite used to it.

I know that with little people who need my everything that there isn't really time to bum around laughing at infomercials, nor would anyone in my household appreciate my mood the next day if I stayed up until three in the morning.

Still, I find it hard to let go of the familiarity and ease of those sleepover days.  I mourn that connection takes so much work and that "work" in my current stage of life (read: babies) crowds out so much.

But I am beginning to glimpse what big-girl friendship looks like.

Big-girl friendship is a ride to Bible study when your spouse needs the car.

Big-girl friendship is holding somebody else's screaming baby.

Big-girl friendship is "I've been there" when you talk about crying over the dishes.

Big-girl friendship is a card in the mail just to say "hi" when it's impossible to find the time but you still can't get somebody off of your heart.

Big-girl friendship bakes mountains of cupcakes and fixes oodles of sandwiches for birthday/graduation/baptism/recital/occasion with a smile and "what else can I do?" 

Big-girl friendship gives ample grace even in small doses of time.

Big-girl friendship says, "You are enough because He is."


And while big-girl friendship isn't as flashy or loud or (to be totally honest) rip-roaring fun as little-girl friendship, it's much more sustaining.

To all my little-girl friends scattered in this great big world, I miss you.

To all my big-girl friends (present and future), thank you.

How would you define grown-up friendship?


  1. Wonderful post, Michelle! I'm so glad we can be friends through this Mommying adventure!

  2. hey little girl friend - I miss you too! And I agree with you, I don't think many people I see on a daily basis would love to spend time with me if we had a re-do of many of our all-nighters packed with sugar! Hope all is well!

    1. Thanks, Lezli. Sometimes I marvel that we aren't all diabetic after what we put our poor bodies through with all that sugar!

  3. I've found that God sends different friends at different times in your life. That email about seasons is quite true. True friends understand your busy times, as well, and when you get together again, you can pick up where you left off. I thank God for those special friends!

    1. I agree; thanks, Vicki. I guess season changes are just a bit tough, but necessary and (in hindsight) oh-so-good.

  4. I miss the sleep over days!!! Maybe we need to have big girl sleep over parties;) babies and all!

  5. I knew my best big-girl friend when we were little girls...and I didn't like her much. Plus she went to a different school, and then our parents stopped being big-friends and we lost touch. Ten years later, married with our own kids, we reconnected, and I am so thankful that she came back into my life because, Michelle, your mother is an amazing woman that I am honored to have as my big-girl friend forever! Great post, thanks for the thoughts!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...