1. I didn't leave a bag full of wet (but clean!) underwear outside by the drying rack. And I certainly didn't do such a thing while escorting a non-compliant three-year-old into the house for discipline purposes.
2. I didn't shut myself in the bathroom and sob into the phone to my poor, working, unable-to-help-at-the-moment husband...because that's a total SAHM cliche, and that's just not how I roll.
3. I didn't stand in front of my refrigerator, willing it to fill with Diet Pepsi and cupcakes.
4. I didn't put Pookie down to nap an hour early because the baby was tired...because I'm totally okay with them not napping at the same time, meaning someone is ALWAYS with me. This is entirely fine with me; who needs a moment (or two) to be alone with their thoughts anyway?
5. I didn't spend too much time Googling apartments in a city outside Paris where Professor could potentially, maybe, possibly apply for a job. Because I go with the flow and don't have control issues.
So, you know, those things didn't happen today. Not a one of them. Ahem...