Friday, August 23, 2013

5MF: Last

Five Minute Friday




I'm linking up to 5 Minute Fridays, a weekly writing prompt shared among all bloggers who participate.  This week's theme is graceful.  You can find out all about it here.


GO.

The last four weeks have been probably the hardest of my life.

{I cheated...I wrote for five minutes, hated what I wrote and am re-writing...but, well, it's my blog and I'll do-over if I want to.}

The last four weeks have seen a giant pity party from me while Professor and I, so sick we can't breathe through noses and ache for sleep, spend those golden hours between little ones' bedtime and our own scouring our mattress for signs of bedbugs.

Yeah, bed bugs.  Just like two years ago.

We've got bites but no signs of them, so the Orkin man can't come spray his death spray and relieve us from the itching and the worrying.

So, it was on a night of wrapping our extra pillows, storage containers, bedside cubicles, and such in trash bags and duct tape that something horrible rose up out of me and spilled all over the floor.

Wailing.  Ugly crying.  Ugly words: "We're educated; we're decent-looking; we've made two beautiful children; we...." on and on and on about how wonderful we are, so why are we still living like this?  In this basement, with these bugs, with these neighbors who are inconsiderate and rude and not-like-us?*

It was the ugliest pity party I've ever had, but Professor let me have it.  Kept taping away the bed bugs, soothing me as he could.

In the days since, there has been screaming baby nights and vomiting Pookie afternoons and not enough sleep, never enough sleep.  But you know what else there has been?

Grace.

Grace from my husband and grace to him.  Grace from my children in long naps and "sometimes it's hard to be a Mommy" reminders from a wise little mouth.

Grace from God in that I am still upright and fighting.

And what there hasn't been?  Any more pity parties.  I can't say I'll never have another one in my life, but that was definitely the last pity party of epic proportion allowed from these lips for the rest of my life.  Because I have better, more important things to do.

Like plead with the Orkin man.

STOP.

*Just a note: I do realize that bed bugs do not discriminate based on socioeconomic factors; they don't care about cleanliness, either, just like lice.

3 comments:

  1. I think every now and then a good pity party is healthy to get all of those toxic thoughts out. I've had my share recently as well. Sending you healing thoughts ... and a compassionate Orkin man.

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  2. Oh, I've been there before, and it is ugly! Right now we are dealing with a flea problem, thanks to our pets. It's so frustrating when you work and work at a solution, with no certain end in sight. Sometimes so many things happen at once that life feels overwhelming for a bit. I'm so thankful you've been able to find grace in the midst of it all!:) Visiting from FMF.

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  3. Oh sister. I feel your pain. Those really tough seasons are enough to make anyone have a pity party and that's okay. I'm glad you got it out. And I'm proud of you for moving on. I hope you find the source of this horrible irritation. Keep your chin up. You can do it. Thank you for sharing.

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